I was perusing the internet this morning, reading about Andy Griffith and all (sad day) and just checking up on the news - when I came across and article about spanking
Mental Effects of Spanking
While I am very grateful that more and more information about this surfaces, it's also tough for me to contemplate. On the one hand, you always hear that you should parent in a way that you are comfortable with. Especially with spanking - it is a personal family decision that everyone must agree on and stick with.
On the other hand you have extreme opinions going both ways - spanking is necessary and commands respect vs. never EVER, EVER hit your kid, no matter what.
Well, according to the article, it leads to instances of mental illness, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, etc. Granted there are more than likely a number of life choices that accompany individuals who NEED excessive spankings along the way which contribute to these "downward spirals." But I have to wonder - if you could give your kid a leg up in a world possessed with Prozac, wouldn't you?
In our house - we spank for safety and in severe cases, respect.
We spank when Aiden runs into the street, gets into something that could potentially harm him, etc. It's swift, it builds a negative reinforcement and it promptly ends a potentially harmful behavior from happening.
It gets tricky when we talk about respect spanking though. When Aiden was really struggling with speech - he and I had some major breakdowns in communication which on occasion, led to hitting. While I recognize that he was often frustrated and had no other way to express himself, that behavior in a toddler can't be allowed. They are manipulative little guys - the wheels are ALWAYS turning, if he gets away with it once, you're done.
So he gets a spanking for respect. However, this spanking doesn't come immediately. The rules: 1. Never spank when you are angry. 2. Don't punish a behavior with the same behavior.
Instead, he has to think about it, this part is much worse than the actual spanking. The waiting for Mommy to settle down before I get my spanking is the worst kind of time-out. But the good side is, he is well on his way to apologizing before it's time to get his punishment, and by the time I feel in control enough, I am already over it and he really gets a minor swat. Like I said, the waiting is the worst part.
For what it's worth, parenting is a bunch of personal decisions - but it's important to make those decisions with a lot of thought before hand. (Get it? Before hand...)
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Magic at Midnight
I usually hold my tongue tightly after seeing a Woody Allen movie, as I am part of a small percentage of people who enjoy them immensely. I think this is due in a large part to having the ability to succumb to suspension of disbelief rather easily. If you just stop asking why and go with it, Woody Allen is kinda freakin awesome!
So Midnight In Paris is about a couple, Gil and Inez, who are just kind of traipsing around Paris on the heels of Inez's father. The couple is engaged to be married and clearly don't belong together from the start - except that they are both absolutely beautiful. This is sort of why you forgive Rachel McAdams for being such a bitch - because she is over the top hot.
Anyway, Gil is of course a lost and philandering writer who wants to make a piece that is meaningful. He is very much so focused on the past and what he believes were "The Golden Years" or the roaring 20's if you prefer. While hitting tourist hot-spots around the city, they run into Inez's old flame, Paul.
Paul is a genius as luck would have it, he knows everything about everything. His wife follows him around like a puppy dog drooling over every word, and Inez does her one better by telling Gil to shut up so she can better listen to Paul at every turn.
Of course, Gil, makes a run for it when invited out dancing with Paul and his wife. As he gets himself lost in the city, wandering alone at midnight - magical things begin to happen...
Gil is transported to the 20s where he meets the Fitzgerald's, Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, Picasso, and his lover Adriana. He has the time of his life, he puts his own writing in perspective, he suggests ideas to the great thinkers, and he falls in love.
Of course, the point is that we all have a golden era we wish to bask in, to help us forget our economy, our politics, etc. So nothing is ever eternally blissful enough. However, this movie is just great enough for a literary nerd to forget all that crap for a minute or two anyway.
So Midnight In Paris is about a couple, Gil and Inez, who are just kind of traipsing around Paris on the heels of Inez's father. The couple is engaged to be married and clearly don't belong together from the start - except that they are both absolutely beautiful. This is sort of why you forgive Rachel McAdams for being such a bitch - because she is over the top hot.
Anyway, Gil is of course a lost and philandering writer who wants to make a piece that is meaningful. He is very much so focused on the past and what he believes were "The Golden Years" or the roaring 20's if you prefer. While hitting tourist hot-spots around the city, they run into Inez's old flame, Paul.
Paul is a genius as luck would have it, he knows everything about everything. His wife follows him around like a puppy dog drooling over every word, and Inez does her one better by telling Gil to shut up so she can better listen to Paul at every turn.
Of course, Gil, makes a run for it when invited out dancing with Paul and his wife. As he gets himself lost in the city, wandering alone at midnight - magical things begin to happen...
Gil is transported to the 20s where he meets the Fitzgerald's, Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, Picasso, and his lover Adriana. He has the time of his life, he puts his own writing in perspective, he suggests ideas to the great thinkers, and he falls in love.
Of course, the point is that we all have a golden era we wish to bask in, to help us forget our economy, our politics, etc. So nothing is ever eternally blissful enough. However, this movie is just great enough for a literary nerd to forget all that crap for a minute or two anyway.
Gil hears a translation (in the present) of a work written in French by a woman from the 20's about himself and the events of their meeting the night before.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Life is a Puzzle
And Aiden has all the pieces - except the ones that Boo ate.
Puzzles are the big thing. We started about six months ago with some 24 piece ones (Cars, Spiderman, etc.) but he had them mapped out pretty quick so we tried a 48 piece puzzle. Now he's up to 100 piece puzzles that are ocean-scapes with fish and turtles and coral and dolphins, and he even has a glow in the dark dinosaur puzzle.
When he pulls out his puzzles he always starts with his wooden Thomas puzzle before assembling the big ones - since this takes so much longer, I filmed him doing the small one, just to share a little bit of his puzzle solving process with you.
He's pretty proud of himself!
Puzzles are the big thing. We started about six months ago with some 24 piece ones (Cars, Spiderman, etc.) but he had them mapped out pretty quick so we tried a 48 piece puzzle. Now he's up to 100 piece puzzles that are ocean-scapes with fish and turtles and coral and dolphins, and he even has a glow in the dark dinosaur puzzle.
When he pulls out his puzzles he always starts with his wooden Thomas puzzle before assembling the big ones - since this takes so much longer, I filmed him doing the small one, just to share a little bit of his puzzle solving process with you.
He's pretty proud of himself!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
House A Home
Hey all, we have been working really hard making our new house a home. After lots of pinterest-ing and IKEA-ing to get organization and decorating ideas I settled on the Dinosaur theme. And then I reconsidered. You can see why, with my inherent female indecisiveness, it has taken a month to finish Aiden's room.
We decided to save the dinosaurs for the bathroom - which is also almost done and I will have cutesy photos soon, and I chose a new theme for Aiden's room. That is "Aiden."
The theme "Aiden" includes the many wonderful facets of his growing personality and intelligence: counting/numbers. I really wanted to find a way to incorporate numbers because he is counting so high these days, and this makes me happy because I have always had my own fascination with numbers. I count things, I make up math problems in my head, I have a weird license plate game that I play in the car which I should probably stop doing because I have been pulled over way too often as a result.
Artwork -- I don't fancy myself an artist, but I do believe in fostering creativity, I believe I am creative, I believe Aiden has received that gene, and though he is not an artistic genius (yet) I want to celebrate and cultivate his artistic endeavors.
Family -- no matter what happens, we have family, he has family, family comes first. I am a strong believer in family, family is my religion. Both the family you are born into and the family you choose. Aiden has not begun to choose his family yet, but I want him to know always that he has the family has was born to.
Thomas the Train and Cars -- these are the kinds of things you tell yourself, "My kid is going to be smarter than that, he won't like such silly things..." but what it has come to is, my child is all boy and the trains and the cars are the piece of him that he didn't inherit from anyone, he just came to love them all on his own. I can only hope someday he will love ballet and James Frey maybe just a tiny bit.
In the corner opposite his bed, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I will try as hard as I can with the Lord as my witness, not to be a controlling parent -- but Aiden WILL love Harry Potter. He also has the house rules hanging on the wall and that tall green thing (IKEA find) for all his stuffed animals - less clutter in the toy box. Center of the photo, is the Thomas the train table that Mommy and Daddy built for him.
Above the bed is some of his artwork from last year - as a reminder to keep him creative and show him that he should be proud of all of his own work.
This is a shot from the door way, above the dresser is the picture that was hanging in his nursery. It says, "All because two people fell in love." No matter where he goes or what happens, that is a fact and it is why he is here. People are always saying they just want to make their parents proud - I think this is a reminder that I am trying to make Aiden proud.
We decided to save the dinosaurs for the bathroom - which is also almost done and I will have cutesy photos soon, and I chose a new theme for Aiden's room. That is "Aiden."
The theme "Aiden" includes the many wonderful facets of his growing personality and intelligence: counting/numbers. I really wanted to find a way to incorporate numbers because he is counting so high these days, and this makes me happy because I have always had my own fascination with numbers. I count things, I make up math problems in my head, I have a weird license plate game that I play in the car which I should probably stop doing because I have been pulled over way too often as a result.
Artwork -- I don't fancy myself an artist, but I do believe in fostering creativity, I believe I am creative, I believe Aiden has received that gene, and though he is not an artistic genius (yet) I want to celebrate and cultivate his artistic endeavors.
Family -- no matter what happens, we have family, he has family, family comes first. I am a strong believer in family, family is my religion. Both the family you are born into and the family you choose. Aiden has not begun to choose his family yet, but I want him to know always that he has the family has was born to.
Thomas the Train and Cars -- these are the kinds of things you tell yourself, "My kid is going to be smarter than that, he won't like such silly things..." but what it has come to is, my child is all boy and the trains and the cars are the piece of him that he didn't inherit from anyone, he just came to love them all on his own. I can only hope someday he will love ballet and James Frey maybe just a tiny bit.
In the corner opposite his bed, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I will try as hard as I can with the Lord as my witness, not to be a controlling parent -- but Aiden WILL love Harry Potter. He also has the house rules hanging on the wall and that tall green thing (IKEA find) for all his stuffed animals - less clutter in the toy box. Center of the photo, is the Thomas the train table that Mommy and Daddy built for him.
Alright, toy box to the right, sparsely full right now, but has all the big toys in it with much simpler access for him. Thomas choo-choos up on the wall there, nightstand with fish bowl (minus the fish) and my favorite feature - his overflowing bookshelf!
Cars themed bed! And on the nightstand is a photo of Mommy, Daddy and Buggey.
Alright - here's the numbers! He loves them, and guess where they came from...
These bins have been super helpful. One box for all his LeapFrog toys, one for all his Dinos, one for cars, one for tools, one for cars, one for McDonalds toys, one for trucks and one for extra choo-choo stuff that doesn't fit on the train table.
On top of the shelf is a birthday card from Great Grandma Dottie. He doesn't see her much but she is absolutely in love with him and I hope he always knows what a cool lady she is. She has significantly influenced his dad (and his mom) and I think Aiden has a lot to learn from her in a short amount of time.
Above the bed is some of his artwork from last year - as a reminder to keep him creative and show him that he should be proud of all of his own work.
This is a shot from the door way, above the dresser is the picture that was hanging in his nursery. It says, "All because two people fell in love." No matter where he goes or what happens, that is a fact and it is why he is here. People are always saying they just want to make their parents proud - I think this is a reminder that I am trying to make Aiden proud.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Father's Day
His early morning attitude, you have to drag him out of bed
Only Frosted Flakes will do, yeah he gets that from me.
His curly hair and his knobby knees, the way the sunlight brings those freckles out
Talkin talk, never misses a beat - yeah he gets that from me
He looks at me with his big blue eyes, he's got me in the palm of his hand - it's like you're here again
He smiles that crooked little smile, no denying he's your child - without him I don't know what I'd do.
He gets that from you.
That boy is everything to me. He gets that from you.
He gets that from me.
Only Frosted Flakes will do, yeah he gets that from me.
He gets that from you.
He melts my heart and tells me he loves me everyday.
He cracks a joke at the perfect time, makes me laugh when I wanna cry.
That boy is everything to me. He gets that from you.
Last night I heard him pray - Lord help me and Mama make it through.
Make sure Daddy knows that we're okay. He said he sure misses you.
He gets that from me.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Change is in the Air
We have been a little bit busy.
Grandma and Grandpa Tennant came to town and helped us move over Memorial Day weekend. The whole process went very smoothly and amazingly fast. Grandma and Grandpa Deiker helped us a whole lot the week before so that was part of it, but boy when my Mama gets a plan in her head she just gets right to it.
We have so much space! Aiden loves having his own room and I love organizing it! More pictures and IKEA greatness to come :)
In the meantime, here are a couple cute pictures of us enjoying at least one day out of the holiday weekend.
Grandma and Grandpa Tennant came to town and helped us move over Memorial Day weekend. The whole process went very smoothly and amazingly fast. Grandma and Grandpa Deiker helped us a whole lot the week before so that was part of it, but boy when my Mama gets a plan in her head she just gets right to it.
We have so much space! Aiden loves having his own room and I love organizing it! More pictures and IKEA greatness to come :)
In the meantime, here are a couple cute pictures of us enjoying at least one day out of the holiday weekend.
Aiden and Daddy enjoying an Otter Pop!
Aiden being about as cool as anyone can get
Me and the Bubs
It wouldn't be Memorial Day with out a marshmallow! We haven't had s'mores yet but hopefully things will settle down soon and we can get that pushed up on our priority list!
Anyway, besides moving over the long weekend, Randalicious and I kicked my car shopping into high gear hoping to get a new car before my tags expired.
Also, Frank, who I suspect knows he is being replaced, has been a real pain in my ass. One day last week I only had to jump start once, that was considered a good day. On the bright side, jump starting my car everywhere I went like a total bad ass made me feel incredibly awesome.
But not as awesome as I feels sitting high up in my graduation present:
It doesn't have a name yet but it's going to need two - one for the car and one for the bossy b*tch living in the radio!
So we have been working hard putting together all of our fun IKEA stuff and cleaning out boxes and settling in, really just working hard to make our new house a home. It felt awesome this weekend to take a break and take in a Rockies game with my pals.
When I got home on Sunday night - I found a surprise in Aiden's room...
A fort!
It was pretty cute. Steve was watching Aiden so I could go to the game and when I came home, they were camping and fishing in his room!!
Even more fun, we spent a little time in the new pool testing out Aiden's sea legs.
Of course that didn't wear him out enough to go right to bed, and of course he was up late on his last night before going to Summer Camp :)
This is also a big transition for us. He has been doing so well potty training that he will be moving to the older 3's class soon, new kids, new teachers, etc. But before that happens, he has Vacation Bible School in the morning which consists of very different structure and a much smaller group of kids. He really wasn't too sure about it after the first day but low and behold when it was time to go home today, he wanted to stay!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Dino Addiction
Ever since the dinosaur expo on Mother's Day, all I have heard about is dinosaurs. "I want to watch dinosaurs," "where's my Chomper?" "Lets play dinosaurs," and best of all, "I'm going to see dinosaurs tomorrow."
Every night he tells me that he is going to see dinosaurs tomorrow, while this is incredibly adorable, it's also a bit sad - because the dinosaurs probably won't be back again until next year.
Lucky Aiden though, he has one of the greatest grandpas in the world who decided to take him to see the next best thing yesterday. The Denver Museum of Nature and Science.
Every night he tells me that he is going to see dinosaurs tomorrow, while this is incredibly adorable, it's also a bit sad - because the dinosaurs probably won't be back again until next year.
Lucky Aiden though, he has one of the greatest grandpas in the world who decided to take him to see the next best thing yesterday. The Denver Museum of Nature and Science.
He had a harder time understanding that the skeletons were dinosaurs - especially the ones without photo displays next to them, but it was still something new to explore.
Along with all the other exhibits, they were there for hours and Radalicious STILL had a hard time getting him to go home.
It blows my mind to see how truly tiny Aiden is next to the skeletons - at the Merchandise Mart they were to scale, but much smaller, so this really put things in perspective for him.
He was a pretty happy guy by the end of the day.
Especially since he got to have dinner with some of his favorite people - Aunt B and Dave!
Eating like a total gentleman of course.
We swung by our new place on the way home to pick up my empty boxes so I could refill them and went home to keep packing - it was very strange, by 10pm I was walking around looking for things to pack and having a really hard time finding them!
So now I have been thinking about what to do with Aiden's room at the new house - I think I am gonna save up for a nifty loft bed from IKEA that he can put his train table under and have a bigger mattress. But in the mean time, he really needs his bathroom put together, because that will also be the guest bathroom - I will no longer allow anyone into mine - yay!!
Anyway, I have decided that fish for kids bathrooms are way over done, and we are better than that ;) Plus, I am so not about the cutesy factor, I get it: fish, water, bath tubs, what a match...well not for us.
Aiden has always been into monkeys, it hasn't been just a passing phase for him, so I seriously considered a monkey themed bathroom. But now, with this new found interest in dinosaurs I have been wondering about making his room dino-themed and worried a bit, that if I spend all that money on a dino room, he'll want bears a week from now. So, to put it to the test, we are going to do a dinosaur bathroom!
Most of the stuff has to be ordered online - dinosaur bathrooms are not in high demand as it turns out, so they don't get stocked.
But look how cute!
I've decided I can get the basics super cheap at IKEA (a green trash bin, green towels, etc.) and just use these accents to pull it all together.
We have a serious case of Dino-Fever at our house.
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