I was perusing the internet this morning, reading about Andy Griffith and all (sad day) and just checking up on the news - when I came across and article about spanking
Mental Effects of Spanking
While I am very grateful that more and more information about this surfaces, it's also tough for me to contemplate. On the one hand, you always hear that you should parent in a way that you are comfortable with. Especially with spanking - it is a personal family decision that everyone must agree on and stick with.
On the other hand you have extreme opinions going both ways - spanking is necessary and commands respect vs. never EVER, EVER hit your kid, no matter what.
Well, according to the article, it leads to instances of mental illness, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, etc. Granted there are more than likely a number of life choices that accompany individuals who NEED excessive spankings along the way which contribute to these "downward spirals." But I have to wonder - if you could give your kid a leg up in a world possessed with Prozac, wouldn't you?
In our house - we spank for safety and in severe cases, respect.
We spank when Aiden runs into the street, gets into something that could potentially harm him, etc. It's swift, it builds a negative reinforcement and it promptly ends a potentially harmful behavior from happening.
It gets tricky when we talk about respect spanking though. When Aiden was really struggling with speech - he and I had some major breakdowns in communication which on occasion, led to hitting. While I recognize that he was often frustrated and had no other way to express himself, that behavior in a toddler can't be allowed. They are manipulative little guys - the wheels are ALWAYS turning, if he gets away with it once, you're done.
So he gets a spanking for respect. However, this spanking doesn't come immediately. The rules: 1. Never spank when you are angry. 2. Don't punish a behavior with the same behavior.
Instead, he has to think about it, this part is much worse than the actual spanking. The waiting for Mommy to settle down before I get my spanking is the worst kind of time-out. But the good side is, he is well on his way to apologizing before it's time to get his punishment, and by the time I feel in control enough, I am already over it and he really gets a minor swat. Like I said, the waiting is the worst part.
For what it's worth, parenting is a bunch of personal decisions - but it's important to make those decisions with a lot of thought before hand. (Get it? Before hand...)
Showing posts with label Ya-Who?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ya-Who?. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Friday, February 25, 2011
5 Signs You're Horrible at Reading Her Signals
This morning I read an article (on my beloved Yahoo! news screen) called, 5 Signs She is Into You. See it for yourself here:
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=6687&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=730915
1. She touches herself - after laughing at this one like an 11 year old boy for about 5 minutes I found they really mean, she primps herself (fixes her hair, goes to the bathroom to check her make up, etc.) Ok, I carry a pressed powder compact in my purse at all times, but in the 4 years I have had it and it has probably expired, I can count on one hand the number of times I have used it. And in those times, I don't think once was to "fluff up" while on a date. As far as my hair goes, if I take the trouble to do it nice for you (which I hardly ever will, I don't even own a blow dryer) I will hairspray it with something equal to cement and not touch it again all night. Above all, if I keep running to the bath room it's because I have had 4 glasses of iced tea and my kidneys are the veterans of a heavy-weight-gain-pregnancy, they hold about 1 fluid oz each before needing to be emptied.
2. She asks about your family - not that I am or ever was an expert on the dating game. Any success I had was the result of nodding and giggling a lot. Furthermore, the way I landed my knockout of a boyfriend was sheer luck. That being said, it seems to me an expert date/advice giver would tell you not to talk about anything family related with a prospective guy until about 6 months into a committed relationship because you might scare him away right? If I ask about your family though, I guess in a round-about way it's because I'm into you -- but mostly I want to know what I am getting into. With Steve, I really lucked out, as far as his family goes, I love them all, and on occasion refer to various family members as "my favorite D____."
3. She is attentive - Not that I wasn't into Steve in the beginning, because our chemistry has always been intense. But I don't think I was ever attentive until most recently when I myself became a more nurturing person as a mom. And as much as it pains me to admit, I haven't always been the nicest girl to date, I was a pure nightmare in my younger/single-er years, believe me it was all about getting mine even if I really was into a guy, being attentive to his needs was the last thing on my mind. *Note: I like the new me better :)
4. She is touchy-feely - When I read the first one, my reaction, was no she won't touch herself, she will touch you! And alas here it is.I don't think that the "knee-tap" is what I had in mind though - I would consider holding hands, stroking your hair, etc. If I accidentally stepped on your toes under the table and you think that means you will get laid...you are a moron.
5. The date lasts longer than you expected - does this mean we go for pie and discuss the movie afterward a-la Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette?? If so, I am definitely into you. Also, this probably means I am living in a fantasy world where men want to talk Elvis over pie into all hours of the night and someone should get me started on Lithium - stat! If this means the date lasted longer because we went home and hooked up, don't count your chickens yet buster. Ever hear of the movie "He's just not that into you?" - well the latest trend among women is that *gasp!* she really just wants to get laid too and the pretense of dinner and a movie is just as lame to her as it is to you.
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=6687&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=730915
1. She touches herself - after laughing at this one like an 11 year old boy for about 5 minutes I found they really mean, she primps herself (fixes her hair, goes to the bathroom to check her make up, etc.) Ok, I carry a pressed powder compact in my purse at all times, but in the 4 years I have had it and it has probably expired, I can count on one hand the number of times I have used it. And in those times, I don't think once was to "fluff up" while on a date. As far as my hair goes, if I take the trouble to do it nice for you (which I hardly ever will, I don't even own a blow dryer) I will hairspray it with something equal to cement and not touch it again all night. Above all, if I keep running to the bath room it's because I have had 4 glasses of iced tea and my kidneys are the veterans of a heavy-weight-gain-pregnancy, they hold about 1 fluid oz each before needing to be emptied.
 |
| "My insides match my outsides- fake ~ Daniel Tosh" |
2. She asks about your family - not that I am or ever was an expert on the dating game. Any success I had was the result of nodding and giggling a lot. Furthermore, the way I landed my knockout of a boyfriend was sheer luck. That being said, it seems to me an expert date/advice giver would tell you not to talk about anything family related with a prospective guy until about 6 months into a committed relationship because you might scare him away right? If I ask about your family though, I guess in a round-about way it's because I'm into you -- but mostly I want to know what I am getting into. With Steve, I really lucked out, as far as his family goes, I love them all, and on occasion refer to various family members as "my favorite D____."
3. She is attentive - Not that I wasn't into Steve in the beginning, because our chemistry has always been intense. But I don't think I was ever attentive until most recently when I myself became a more nurturing person as a mom. And as much as it pains me to admit, I haven't always been the nicest girl to date, I was a pure nightmare in my younger/single-er years, believe me it was all about getting mine even if I really was into a guy, being attentive to his needs was the last thing on my mind. *Note: I like the new me better :)
 |
| All for you my love, all for you ;) |
4. She is touchy-feely - When I read the first one, my reaction, was no she won't touch herself, she will touch you! And alas here it is.I don't think that the "knee-tap" is what I had in mind though - I would consider holding hands, stroking your hair, etc. If I accidentally stepped on your toes under the table and you think that means you will get laid...you are a moron.
 |
| My toes have never been so turned on |
5. The date lasts longer than you expected - does this mean we go for pie and discuss the movie afterward a-la Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette?? If so, I am definitely into you. Also, this probably means I am living in a fantasy world where men want to talk Elvis over pie into all hours of the night and someone should get me started on Lithium - stat! If this means the date lasted longer because we went home and hooked up, don't count your chickens yet buster. Ever hear of the movie "He's just not that into you?" - well the latest trend among women is that *gasp!* she really just wants to get laid too and the pretense of dinner and a movie is just as lame to her as it is to you.
 |
| Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate |
Yeeesh - I think I have become a cynic...
Friday, January 14, 2011
A disturbing morning for one warm and cozy girl
When I got to the office this morning, I went through my usual routine...water Dexter and Harrison (my plants), check my facebook (my friend Tim from highschool tagged me in a photo as a "fierce tranny" - compliment?), did the filing that I forgot the night before, answered urgent emails (there was a whole conversation between a salesperson and a client that I was cc'd on which had nothing to do with me - thanks for that) and then I went to Yahoo to get my daily news, where I found this article...
What the Guys Think of Your Fashion....
Designer Sweats - they're a don't because words on your ass are tacky. I agree, however, one guy commented that "Pink" across your ass sends the wrong message...hate to break it to you guys but it is literally the name of the brand by one of YOUR favorite places for us to shop! It's okay for us to go to Victoria's Secret for something sexy for you that only gets worn about 15 minutes but if we pick something up that is reasonably priced, comfortable for hours, doubles as work-out wear and is strategically marketing for the company we bought it from...oh God forbid! Sorry dudes, I am keeping my blue sweats that say "University of Pink" on the thigh and if you don't like it, remind me later that we are boycotting Victoria's Secret ;)
Screen T shirts - Another toss out for guys...that kinda sucks because one of my favorites is a snoopy sweater in which the silly dog is wearing glasses and saying "I only date nerds..." ok I think I just proved the guys' point. But if we have to toss ours you guys shouldn't get away with wearing this crap....
gross.
Leggings - you guys want us to wear these? It took me forever to jump on the band wagon, and even still I only have one or two outfits that I'll do it with...whatever guys...
Ugg boots -- Do I have to throw them away if they're knock offs? And yeah I know they're ugly but let me put it this way...just because you don't know the joy of having your feet wrapped in warm faux fur when it is 10 degrees out doesn't mean we have to suffer - and for those of you that think we shouldn't wear them with skirts....try this...I wear a mini skirt, with leggings and my fuggs (fake uggs) and I don't plan on not doing it anytime soon... :P
Giant Glasses -- Agreed, this is yucky -- but I'm also really concerned with the amount of money the men in my life spend on their eye wear...maybe their glasses aren't tacky but if you're going to drop $100 or more on something, at least in a girl's case you get more product square foot-wise than you do as a dude....
Mini skirts -- did we really need to hear you like them? Don't get me wrong I hate being cold and won't pull one out of the closet until it's 90 degrees plus outside, but when I do it's still for my boyfriend's benefit...we know you like it, and we do it to drive you crazy but it's so cute that you think we needed you're approval on it.
Or anything else for that matter -- sorry guys but this girl dresses for comfort and if you think it's ugly that's fine, but take a good look in the mirror before you tell me to change my outfit again okay?
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