Thursday, November 15, 2012

Meltdown Mastered

Aiden and I get tired. And we get cranky. Because we go, go, go and then we crash.

Luckily, as a Mommy, I get to be grumpy - because I am an adult and I don't kick people when I am cranky.

Aiden seems to get tired enough he crosses this "meltdown line" where all logic and reason suddenly go out the window and kicking, hitting, screaming, running away, throwing toys and being mean are not only possible but all occur at the same time if he doesn't get what he wants or he has to do something he deems "unfair."

Please note - Aiden considers the following "unfair":
- Brushing his teeth
- Buckling his seat belt
- Cleaning up one toy bin before getting out another
- Turning the TV off if he won't eat dinner
- Going to bed before 9 PM
- Putting his coat on before we leave the house

So last night, when I picked him up from Grandpa's as per usual, and I told him it was time to go home he came unglued. Even though I relented to helping him with and puzzle and a game of hide-and-seek before we left. Life is still just really unfair.

When he wasn't getting his way he started screaming about how he wanted to go out to dinner with Papa (Randalicious) -- at this point I had already been hit, kicked, slapped and screamed at. By the time I had him buckled in the car there was absolutely no way I was going to take him any where in public - I even expressed this to him vocally, "Mommy would be silly to take you anywhere but home to bed after you hit me."

So his screaming turned to crying, which of course made my resolve turn mushy.

"I wanna be a nice boy, I wanna be nice, I wanna say sorry!"

So I start feeling sad...does he not think he is a nice boy?? He's a very nice boy - he's just making bad decisions...should I go easy on him? Now that he's saying "sorry" and "please mommy, please," I feel like a total jerk :/

But I held fast to what I already told him -- I can not take this small person who may or may not be suffering from a bipolar disorder at the moment, to a public place. In part because I am also tired. Nope, not in the cards.

So we drove away from Grandpa's with him screaming and me remaining ever so quiet so as not to let on how bad I felt about how he was carrying on. Half way home, with the screaming still coming from the back seat he started in with, "I need to go potty, I'm gonna go potty!"

When I offered to stop, he refused saying, "I need to go potty at Grandpa's house!!!"

Ah, sweet relief, I made a good choice. He was totally aware of his manipulative behavior and when I didn't allow him to see it working, he spent half the ride home re-working his angle. So I spent the second half of the ride home convincing myself that if he really did pee his pants in the back seat -- that might be the best thing for him.

The worst thing for him would have been giving in. It's not like I stand a lot gain from him peeing his pants in my new car, having to wash the car seat and carrying his pee-stink self inside the house -- but I did gain from him realizing that the carrying on and essentially "bullying" into getting his way doesn't fly.

Wouldn't you know it, by the time we got home, he couldn't wait to get inside and do a new puzzle. And boy was it quiet while he ate every last bite of his dinner with me, one might dare to say enjoyable.

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