Movin' On...Out?

I know it seems like all I do is tell you all how busy I am, but really, how is a person supposed to breathe??? Since Father's Day, life has been a blur of boxes, Shakespeare, cleaning supplies, dress shopping, and unpacking. I spent most of last week doing homework, trying to get ahead of everything before leaving for Nebraska so I don't miss any assignments. Also, I have slowly been moving clothes and other semi-important objects that make up my life, from my house to Dad's house.

Last night was the first night since this all started that I have actually felt like things were under control. Thank God, because I was definitely at my breaking point. I went out last weekend to see my cousin perform in a Battle of the Bands for Global Dance Festival and even though I really needed a couple hours to just hang out, I got so far behind packing and reading that the rest of my weekend was miserably stressed.

I helped with some finishing touches for my best friend's wedding (ie Nebraska Trip) and we went dress shopping for the rehearsal dinner. I have never been a "nice dresser" and dress shopping has always been awful for me (note to self - never remind Dad about prom 04...) But I couldn't find anything I wanted that was less that $150 dollars and it would be absurd to spend more on a sundress than my bridesmaid's dress. So I gave it all up.

This week I finished Romeo and Juliet and coordinated a bridal emergency kit with a couple other bridesmaids. Yesterday I finished moving and had a total breakdown - Aiden went to his first movie ever. Without me. I have been so looking forward to this and talking about it for months. But I missed it.

I miss the boys, period. I've not spent a night with Steve in a week. I missed last weekend with Aiden and will miss this one. Don't misunderstand. I am really excited about my trip, but all this stress and not enough of my boys really has me down. Especially since the 3 of us were supposed to go to a movie together. I know that I have a million priorities that revolve around being a good parent, and sometimes that means working harder and missing fun things to be able to afford what he needs but it still hurts to miss out.

Anyway, last night we got to all have dinner together at least. It was extremely bittersweet. My favorite part of our house was that it was a mile away from FrontRoom Pizza. Going to miss visiting regularly.

Aiden's gonna miss it too.

Shut the Front Door!

Aiden just went in the fridge, grabbed the mostly full milk jug, put his cup on the floor (I imagine based on the small mess left there) and filled his own cup.

Then he came to show me what he did....

Tom the Turtle and Other Friends

Typically, stopping at Stub's for an ice cream cone is reserved for leaving The Lake. But after the week I had leading up to Father's Day weekend, I was not going to pass up a waffle cone for anything. Plus, while cleaning out our cabinets this week, we discovered one of the perks of being in our current house - we had lots of people over. And they brought booze! And they left it! And there was no way we were going to finish it all...so before donating it to a good cause (The Jackson Lake Pirates) we had to get something to mix it all with. 

So we got mixers, I got my ice cream cone, and Aiden met the dinosaur.

It's a rite of passage to sit on the dinosaur at some point, if you're lucky like me, you will do so when you are pregnant and no one dares take a photo of you...

As you can see, Aiden didn't like the dinosaur. Not so much that he didn't like the dino, he just didn't like that he was on the dino alone.

After a bunch of fuss, and failed attempts for good photos - I let him get off.

When he go off the dino, he said, "Byeeee Ninosore" 

What a goof.

Then we were on our merry way.

When we got to The Lake, a somewhat smaller dinosaur, Tom the Turtle actually, was waiting to meet Aiden. Papa Deiker found him at work and saved him for us (lucky me). Thank goodness we are moving and taking two pets with us already to my Dad's, because we had an excuse not to bring him home with us to keep forever.

It took Aiden a little while to warm up, but by first thing Saturday morning he was asking non stop about his "tuttle" and constantly checking on it.

Other than some not-so-great June weather, we got to enjoy an evening boat ride which was very pleasant. We also took out the jet skis. This has become one of my favorite parts of going to The Lake. It's something that just Steve and I do together and we always park and swim and enjoy each other for a few minutes. It's so nice to be so far out in the water away from everything. It's weird, even if he's chasing me to splash me or doing his best to land me in the water, I am still so totally involved with how great it is just to be with him and just to be us, playing around.

We also spent an afternoon on the beach, Aiden is quite the water bug. I knew after last Summer he would be. Nevertheless, he surprised me when he just went walking in and pushing his toy boat out as far as he could. It was pretty hilarious, he'd toss it out and say, "Byeeee Butt!" and start walking towards the shore. But by the time he turned around to look back a the water, the waves had brought the boat back and he would stomp his foot and shout, "Buttttt!" Then, immediately, he proceeded to throw it back out to sea, and the cycle went on hilariously for 20 minutes.

Wanna see something funny? These two guys who grew up together at The Lake causing mayhem are now holding chubby toddler hands while the kiddoes splash in the water. Too cute.

Anyways, after a chilly windy Father's Day, we headed home (and stopped for another ice cream cone). Now we are back to packing up everything, stressing about school, wedding-to-dos for one of my best girlfriends, and trying to squeeze in a leisure read somewhere. Wait, did I say we? I meant "I" am doing these things, and Steve is working his butt off telling me not to stress. It's cute that he thinks it's possible I could ever be stress free.

Hopefully not far-fetched though, as I have a spa date with my sister tomorrow night.

Until I have more cute photos -- ya'll keep on keepin' on!

A couple moments of downtime

Father's Day weekend pictures to come shortly, I promise. Until then, you have to hear me brag about my son the genius. On Sunday night, we took a load of stuff to Papa's house (as we will soon be staying with him) and had a bite to eat, hung out with Aunt B and just got in a little rest from the weekend.

While we were all lazily lounging on the couch, Aiden started in about wanting to watch Curious George - he was vetoed. And he was not thrilled. But Aunt B and I were determined to find one of our favorites, in case you are wondering, Finding Nemo and Lion King are not on instant Netflix. But guess what is???

Rock-A-Doodle!


We were so excited (we even high-five'd) and we put in on instantly (pardon the pun). I can't believe how old that movie made me feel - everything was kind of fuzzy, old school animation, and of course Aiden was skeptical. But if you have ever seen Rock-A-Doodle you know it is non-stop music, so he warmed up to it pretty quick. I remember watching that movie in pre-school, and I loved it, I still love it. Of course it helps that I am such an Elvis fan and one of the character's is an archetype of Elvis.

Goldie and Chanticleer

And the hero of the story is a pint sized kitten (actually a boy turned into a cartoon kitten by an evil owl):

With the help of his farm animal friends (one is a blood-hound who is narrating) he travels to the city to find Chanticleer and bring him home to the farm so he can crow and bring the sun back (evil owls hate the sun and want to eat all the farm animals). Along the way there is music and a little love story.

I was so into it, so was Aiden for an hour at least, but before long he was interested in other things. Like counting his fingers and toes. Up til now, Aiden has counted to 3 and sometimes forgets the number 2. But I was listening to him and very clearly he counted all the way to 6! I dropped my jaw and nearly cried thinking he might tell me the first ten digits of pi next.

To keep Papa from getting in trouble for his sweet tooth I will  say, to celebrate, we went to Yogurtland, which Aiden thought was pretty neat, especially when Mom gave him candy to put on his frozen yogurt. While we were there, he was very insistent about who should stand where in line and that he would hold his own yogurt cup. He is getting very particular about the way and the order in which he likes things.

This last weekend, he was talking more clearly that he has ever. A couple times he replaced his "Aiden language" with the actual words and I was so impressed! He's gotten so much better at communicating and even a little easier to reason with - it's pretty hard to tell a screaming toddler why they can't have what they want but I am actually able to get his attention and tell or show him why he can't have something. Kinda funny how the tables have turned, I used to ask him to show me things when I didn't understand and now I am taking him by the hand and showing him things that he doesn't understand.

Might I also say, his manners have gotten impeccable. He is the master of saying "thank you." When he's not sure he says it anyway. The other morning in the bathroom we had an interesting conversation when he picked up my brush:

Aiden: "Bwush, peas!"

I bent over so he could brush my hair.
After a couple strokes he said, "Tank you" and put the brush away.
I said, "No, thank YOU!"

Aiden: "Welcome!"

He needs to be reminded about "please" but he never forgets to give gratitude. In fact, last night he was walking around Papa's house just saying, "Tank you" and "Welcome" to himself for picking things up and putting them away.  Unfortunately, he doesn't realize that dogs don't understand "Peas" and gets upset when he asks Boo very nicely for her ball and she won't hand it over, but it's a good lesson I think to learn that not everyone out there uses their manners and responds to the politeness of others. So I just tell him to keep saying "Peas" anyway.

My Blessings

 I told him my biggest secret, and he told me four. He smiled at me and said, "that makes me love you more."


Then he made me laugh, and I knew it was a sign, that he was a man that I wanted in my life. And with every passing day, I feel more and more that way.


He heals me. He knows the real me. He accepts me. He never hurts me. He heals me.


I can play him songs all through the night, and he will listen to every line. And even when I am wrong he is still kind. He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I am not right.

And yes, he is a beautiful man, but he is also a beautiful friend.


He heals me. He knows the real me. He accepts me. He never hurts me. He heals me.

The moment we met, he made me smile.

 He has such compassion in his eyes. For the first time in my life, I am not worried about the future. Because we have such a wonderful time together.


However things turn out it's all right, because he's already changed my life.

He heals me. He knows the real me. He accepts me. He never hurts me. He heals me.

He Heals Me - India Arie

Oh that Aiden

It's been just me and Bub this week again, 2 years ago if I had to do this I would have probably had a breakdown by now. Over the last few days while discussing baby sleeping and eating habits with friends, I've come to realize that, not only has Aiden grown immensely, but so have I.

At some point between when Aiden needed a bottle to where he learned to get his own drink from the refrigerator, I stopped caring about what movie I would see Friday night. And I guess between the sleepless nights and the cry-it-outs all the way to 12 straight hours of rest that come along every so often - I forgot about who I was going to meet at the mall.

 I definitely recall the first bite of solid food, and still I am in awe every time he uses a fork correctly, or stirs his chocolate milk with a spoon. Even though he has done these things hundreds of times, I am so wrapped up in all the little things he can do, that I just plain forgot there's a whole wide world going on out there.

After a long girls weekend, we had some quality family time Sunday night. Aunt B came over for dinner and we enjoyed the sunshine while Aiden rode and crashed his bike all over the yard.

 After a really rough fall, Aunt B nearly jumped up to get him, and Steve winced, but would you believe, the Mommy who used to cry when 2 month old Aiden whimpered, didn't even turn around to look.

Instead, I told everyone else to be still and calm, and just let him get up. It may appear that I accomplished this very easily, but every time, it is a total battle for will power.

It's the ability to know the cries that I have heard countless times over, the ability to trust that Aiden knows where and how to find me whenever he needs me, and the ability to love him enough to let him grow a little.

All you can really do is love them to death.

Wordless Wednesday - Need A Book Recommendation?

Calling All Zombies!!

I got the best news this morning from the World War Z Blog....The movie starts filming in a coupe weeks and they just added Matthew Fox and Ed Harris to the cast (Brad Pitt starring). While not a big fan of Fox, I am so excited to hear about Ed Harris, I have a couple suspicions about which character he will be and I can't hardly sit still waiting to find out for sure. EEEEK!

Behind the Curve Catching the Kite

I can not believe I have not read this before! As Steve says, "it's too popular for Britt," which is why I probably passed on it originally but yesterday I finished and discussed The Kite Runner by Kahled Hosseini for book club. It was fabulous. Probably one of the best I have read in the last month or so (if you're just tuning in - I read about 4 a month so it is feasible to say I have a favorite a month).

If you are a Good Reads friend, I apologize for the repetitiveness but: beautifully written, tragic at every turn, and the ending was sublimely beautiful. Amir, who is the definition of an anti-hero, and his best friend Hassan's complicated relationship manages to capture history, parent/child relationship dynamics, and the despair that comes with growing up no matter who or where in the world you are. Crying is guaranteed but it feels good because like Amir, it's easy as a reader to bottle up all of your emotions while you read. Also, like Amir, letting it all out reminds you how human you are to the very core of your being.

Also, if you're wondering about the current 4, I am currently into The Taming of the Shrew (by The Bard of course), The Woman In the Black Dress by Susan Hill, Alice In Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass  by Lewis Carroll, and still shamelessly finishing Wuthering Heights  by Bronte (Emily).

A Growin' Guy

Call us a couple bachelors...or whatever because I'm not a guy...but Aiden and I are on our own this week. And we sure miss Daddy. But we're trying to keep busy - well we don't really need to try since we are in fact, very busy. But, we're being as active as possible so that we get so tired we fall right to sleep at night.

We went to McDonald's for dinner so that Aiden could play on the slide and tucker himself out. It was pretty busy for a weeknight at nearly 8 o'clock but it must be the late summer sunshine in combination with their new frozen lemonades that keep them hopping so late. Anyway, there was a surplus of kids in the play area which was at first a little intimidating to Aiden but he warmed up pretty quick.

Aiden and Papa go for breakfast a couple mornings a week so that Aiden can climb around and Papa can enjoy coffee. While I was watching Aiden climb on top of this rubbery log looking thing my dad informed me that he could not accomplish such a feat on his own as early as last Friday.

Dang. This kid is growing faster than a weed! What grows faster than a weed? A super weed? And Aiden shaped weed?

Look at him go!

And at home, his head is above the kitchen counter top. It's ridiculous. 

When he can't reach something, which rarely happens any more, he has a little step stool that he drags around behind himself at Papa's house so that he can effectively get to whatever the heck he wants.

And he gets his little wheels turning about something he wants, and he finds a way to get it. I am really impressed with his memory - nothing is getting past him. So not only do we have to find new hiding places for things like candy and dog treats, but we have to do it when he really isn't watching because he doesn't miss a beat and he makes sure of it.

And for your enjoyment, I present:

"Aiden insists to Papa that he does have an Owie"

*The first half of the video is just some running around but after he stubs his toe and Papa tells him "You don't know what an Owie is!" - then he tells Papa what's what about owies.

Everything

Find me here, speak to me. I want to feel you, I need to hear you. You are the light that's leading me to the place where I find peace again.



You are the strength that keeps me walking. You are the hope that keeps me trusting. You are the light to my soul. You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

 You calm the storms, and you give me rest. You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall. You steal my heart and you take my breath away. Would you take me in? Take me deeper now.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

 Cause you're all I want, you're all I need. You're everything. Everything.

Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring, love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness and a halo of patience, and a less sporadic pace and I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes. Oh, I've felt that fire and I've been burned but I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned.

All In Good Time

Life is pretty messy. That is the nature of the beast. Following a series of bad mishaps and bad negotiations with unreliable people, we are moving. Correction, we are homeless.

After a couple days of panic, we have transitioned into "just-deal-with-it-mode." This entails packing up what is left of our lives once the majority of our belongings are fed to trash bags, storing it all away as though it is make-believe, pretending that none of it is really happening for a couple days, and then, finally, we will get back on up on our feet and start over.

Every day I feel better and better, a little less breakable, and a little more sure of my self as it pertains to an uncertain future and or destination. For I have the most adventurous and strong willed travelling companions. We are all we have and we are all we need.

I recently stopped caring what anyone has to say, particularly those who never even call to say hello. But in general, words seem to pass me by like wind. If I say that unwanted advice is like dust in the wind, then perhaps I am dulling the reality of the sentiment and potentially abusing the intended meaning of the lyrics. So be it. Your words are dust in the wind.

Sometimes I think people are so worried that they will be unhappy, that they must first ensure that they won't be the first. Or maybe people talk so much about you, give you so much advice, want so many answers...because they wish someone was talking about them, would give them advice, have all the wrong questions.

Love. Be. Be In Love. The rest is just dust in the wind. Negatives are only negative until you find the positive.

Bubba.Boo.Bubbles.

Aiden really likes bubbles...

So does Boo.

The Curious Thing About George

Aiden has had a thing about monkeys for as long as I can remember. Probably because I have been calling him a monkey since day one...and there was an incident at the Denver Zoo when he was 4 months old where I insisted we take him to the primate house so his parents could have him back. 

Of course, being a monkey lover of all trades, he is an avid follower of the adventures of everyone's favorite -- Curious George. We were watching a full length animated CG movie the other night and I couldn't help but see some striking resemblances between George and my little monkey.

They both have a hard time communicating - though Aiden is rapidly surpassing his furry doppelganger  in the language department, he has to use gestures and noises when he can't find the words to tell me what he needs.

I also see in him, the same mischievousness and, well, curiosity that often gets George lost or in trouble with The Man In The Yellow Hat. He wants to know how things work, he wants to do what the adults are doing and he wants to help even when that one tiny pair of extra hands usually leads to a spilled chocolate milk, a very wet, very angry kitty, a deleted file on the computer, a beautiful drawing on Mommy's desk (sans paper) or the walls, and so on...

What is most curious about Aiden as compared to George though, is how much my heart ached for The Man In The Yellow Hat when he got frustrated with George - as parents can do with toddlers. We all really only want to help our kids and see them happy but it is the worst feeling in the world when you don't know exactly how to make that happen.

Last night, after 3 bedtime stories Aiden was still dis-satisfied with the reading material I had supplied and he cried and cried asking for a particular book, but for the life of me it sounded like he was asking for the "balloon book" which does not exist. His library is quickly trying to over take mine in terms of titles so there is no way we could have gone through every book to find what he wanted. I wanted to scream, worse, I wanted to sit down and cry for the "balloon book" with him.

Then I remembered The Man In The Yellow Hat - everyone gets stressed and everyone feels helpless sometimes. So Aiden and I coped the only way we know how - we curled up in the rocking chair and snuggled. While rocking back and forth a while, my mind settled and so did my nerves. Then, it hit me. 

"Boon book" didn't mean "balloon book," it meant "MOON Book." I knew exactly what he wanted, so we read yet another bedtime story and unfortunately after all that crying he was pretty cranky so he went down a little rough but what a relief. I didn't have to send him to bed without the perfect bedtime story. 

It's all about the small victories.