Friday, March 28, 2014

Happy Birthday OutNumbered

I spend a great deal of my time preaching to others, yes, preaching is the word, about how hard work and relentless effort are the keys to success. When I am asked how I got this or that, and sometimes it is simply stated to me how incredibly lucky I have been... it feels important to me to remind those people - just work, just try, just push a little more than you think you can, just don't give up.

Today, instead of preaching, I am looking back on what has been - by far - one of the most incredible years for me. Twenty-five was something I feared, I wanted nothing to do with the idea of getting older while still being stuck in the same place. Looking back over the last 365 days, it strikes me how much I have grown and done. Unfortunately I haven't been able to share much of it, as I have significantly reduced my social media presence and have had to keep a lot of things to myself - sometimes by necessity, sometimes by preference.

At 25, I was signed to nxt|Model's commercial division. I've had a great many opportunities because of this small, non-exclusive agency. I've also had a chance to work hard for myself and in a lot of instances, I have been my own agent. I have to market myself and get a lot of my own work, but they have been a great stepping stone to a lot of the last year's accomplishments.

This year, Aiden and I snuggled a lot. We held on tight to each other when things got really hard.

We fought a lot too. We fought about sugar and the proper way to clean up toys. We fought about appropriate timing for taking down Christmas trees and we fought about Sponge Bob yogurt. Mostly we fought about using nice words and making sure we tell each other how much we love one another.

And then we snuggled some more.

I promo-ed the crap out of the Denver-Metro area with Missy. 

I conquered the Sturgis Bike Rally.

And I walked a few runways - sometimes looking like a peacock, sometimes wearing only paper.

I made some silly faces with Aiden.

And saw my best friend get married. 

I got my hair and makeup done, a lot. And then after that, I got it done some more.

We watched Ghostbusters, over and over and over and over again. And we sang Ghostbusters in the car, over and over and over and over again.

We played in the park.

Then I did some more promo's with Missy.

I did a lot of photo shoots - and I got paid to do them. Sometimes, I was naked. Sometimes it was scary - but mostly it was beautiful, freeing, exciting and absolutely fulfilling.

Sometimes I had to lay face down in the mud in a freezing parking garage and play dead for the photographer. And it was really hard, it was the hardest day of work I ever had, and it was the most beautiful image I ever made. 

And in a few moments over the past year, the lighting, the hair, the make up, the pose, the work, the attitude - it was all there, right where it needed to be, and I proved to myself and everyone else how bad I want this and how good I am.

This year, we hatched baby dinosaurs and they were disgusting. They smelled and they were ugly. But Aiden kept them alive for over a month and I was so proud.

This year, there was painting.

And swimming.

This year, Dexter's name changed approximately 38 times - currently, it is Anna (from "Frozen"). Also, she is now a girl according to Aiden. Yes, she wants to build a snowman as well. Oh, and I decided this year that I think I love my cat.

This year, my son grew up, a lot.

This year, I saw breath taking art.

This year, I landed a book cover and print advertising and a movie role.

This year, I found out who my friends really are. The ones who didn't know that any of this was going on and stuck with me anyway. There were also some friends who knew I was having a really hard time and they didn't stick by me. Not even a little bit. 

My greatest accomplishments this year are things that I can't even say here, and my greatest losses are beyond words. But I am still standing, and it's all happening.

No comments: