Thursday, March 28, 2013

Who run the world?

GIRLS! We run this mother...strong enough to bear the children, then get back to business.

I promise Aiden updates soon, we have so much to be happy about these days. But first, I have somethings I want to say:

I'm 25 years old today. Fewf, that was hard to get out. Not because I fear getting old, but because my other fears are prompted by age.

Fears that I haven't learned, absorbed or experienced enough. Fears that I started chasing my dream with only a small window of time in which to achieve it before it will be shelved with other lost wishes. 

I think we get really wrapped up in mortality and worry over the exact amount of minutes in which we have left to live and I have been working hard over the last year or so to change that within myself. It's okay to express anxiety over the passage of time, but I beg of you, let that passage of time appear to you in a way that is circular, spiral and wide - ultimately, Gabriel Garcia Marquez-esque. Let your worries be about the moments in which you presently find yourself and fill those moments with your whole self.

A little over a year ago, I was lying in a hospital bed and weighed 100 pounds on a good day; felt alone, frail and deeply depressed. That week of my life, feeling like I might die, was quite possibly the best thing that ever happened to me. I walked away from it with a hunger to get better, to be better and do better. If not for me, then for Aiden. So I did. 

This last year has been filled with the most courageous, beautiful learning experiences. I found myself, I found strength and I found the will to push forward - to stop waiting for life to happen. 

I am so truly blessed for all the support and opportunity I have received this year, I am also much more aware of how fragile those commodities are. Support and opportunity can be here one day and gone the next. It is the conviction of will and the strength of character which pushes you forward.

There are so many more women in my life this year than ever before and I am ecstatic to have them to work with and learn from. Ladies, we hold each other up, we can do anything once we realize it is simply in our own hands.

I am stronger. I am brave and resilient. I am better. I am unstoppable. 

I am 25 and I am not ever going to stop moving forward.

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