Thursday, February 13, 2014

A Series of Unfortunate Events or Thank You, Citizens of WalMart

I know that OutNumbered is often funny, because it is usually funny at my expense. And I fully expect this post to be every bit as hilarious as all others, if not actually laugh-out-loud funny, but I want to preface it with a little bit of seriousness.

A parent's greatest fear - child abduction. As a parent, I find nothing scarier. Our culture runs rampant with the subject these days - think about how you felt reading "The Lovely Bones" for the first time, whether you have kids or not, it was literally the worst case scenario. With the Super Bowl not that far behind us, there was a lot of negative press surrounding sex-trafficking in even worse case scenario.

I recently saw a "kidnapping experiment" on Twitter (@bbabybritt if you're wondering...) that maybe some of you also saw, if not it's attached here:

It's absolutely terrifying to think it could happen to you and even more terrifying to think it couldn't. On top of all of this, I have been reading "Doctor Sleep" - GoodReads review here:

...and it's a doozy, but basically, it's about special children disappearing and never coming home.

All that being said...Aiden got the cops called on Randalicious yesterday for kidnapping.

They went to WalMart to pick out some Valentine's for Aiden's party at school today. Randalicious told Aiden that he could have a Peppermint Patty (his FAVORITE) if he was good in the store. Of course he threw a fit, which I can only imagine became a tantrum/melt down in a matter of seconds. Bystanders would tell you that he was screaming throughout the store, "I want my daddy! I want my daddy! I want my daddy! I want my daddy!" The trained ear of Aiden's caregiver knows he was screaming, "I want my patty! I want my patty!I want my patty!I want my patty!"

Randalicious tried fervently to settle on-lookers and a woman at the check stand who insisted that he let the little boy call his daddy so that he might calm down. My calm and patient (and handsome and wonderful) father who was sent by the grace of God no doubt, explained, "He doesn't want to call his daddy, he wants a Peppermint Patty..."

No use. The woman - or another suspicious individual - followed them to the parking lot and scribbled down Randalicious' license plate number and then proceeded to call the cops.

In the meantime, I had left work and called them to check in on Aiden. He was still upset and screaming "I want my patty!I want my patty!I want my patty!" Though I took it for, "I want my daddy!  I want my daddy!  I want my daddy!" Once he calmed down and talked with me for a bit about some things he might be able to do in order to get back into Grandpa's good graces, they were off to McDonald's.

Thinking maybe a little play time on the giant jungle gym might help soothe Aiden, Randalicious loaded him into the car. At this point in time, he noticed a squad car parked just a little ways down the road and it noticed him - him, and Aiden. The officer pulled up to the house, asked Randalicious about who he is, what the situation is with Aiden, where his parents are, why someone from WalMart might have called the cops...on and on.

Oh Aiden....Oh dear, sweet Aiden.

Poor Randalicious.

While it is all so funny now, I sincerely mean it when I say, "Thank you citizens of WalMart, good lookin out!!"

Now I owe my father the Valentine's Day gift to top all others, but really, thank God that my community is aware and would call the cops just because they had a bad feeling even though it was wrong.

1 comment:

Abby said...

Oh my gosh, Britt!!! I can't believe this! You're absolutely right - it's wonderful to see people looking out for one another - but, oh, your poor dad!! Too funny.