Last night was the first night since this all started that I have actually felt like things were under control. Thank God, because I was definitely at my breaking point. I went out last weekend to see my cousin perform in a Battle of the Bands for Global Dance Festival and even though I really needed a couple hours to just hang out, I got so far behind packing and reading that the rest of my weekend was miserably stressed.
I helped with some finishing touches for my best friend's wedding (ie Nebraska Trip) and we went dress shopping for the rehearsal dinner. I have never been a "nice dresser" and dress shopping has always been awful for me (note to self - never remind Dad about prom 04...) But I couldn't find anything I wanted that was less that $150 dollars and it would be absurd to spend more on a sundress than my bridesmaid's dress. So I gave it all up.
This week I finished Romeo and Juliet and coordinated a bridal emergency kit with a couple other bridesmaids. Yesterday I finished moving and had a total breakdown - Aiden went to his first movie ever. Without me. I have been so looking forward to this and talking about it for months. But I missed it.
I miss the boys, period. I've not spent a night with Steve in a week. I missed last weekend with Aiden and will miss this one. Don't misunderstand. I am really excited about my trip, but all this stress and not enough of my boys really has me down. Especially since the 3 of us were supposed to go to a movie together. I know that I have a million priorities that revolve around being a good parent, and sometimes that means working harder and missing fun things to be able to afford what he needs but it still hurts to miss out.
Anyway, last night we got to all have dinner together at least. It was extremely bittersweet. My favorite part of our house was that it was a mile away from FrontRoom Pizza. Going to miss visiting regularly.
Aiden's gonna miss it too.
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