Thursday, December 30, 2010

A following?

Even though my blog home page tells me I have no followers, which in a world of millions of connected people really does define seems I have anxious readers anticipating my take on the holidays. The holidays which were really a let down this year...

Besides being totally sick and not wanting to even get out of bed for Christmas, I got Aiden sick too. Fortuantely it didn't seem to slow him down much and now we have such an overload of toys I wonder how I was ever worried that he would "have enough." I was really ready for Christmas to end this year, next year I may very well hole up at home and tell everyone I have gone on vacation.

The biggest let down was my own fault though. On Christmas Eve I had convinced myself I was ready to visit my grandparents and that I would do so on Christmas day. But for whatever reason I couldnt go through with it, I am starting to think I will never be ready to face all of it - maybe it's better to just pretend they are taking one of the vacations they never got to take...

Anyway...some holiday cheer!

And some birthday celebrating :)

I cannot believe how fast the last two years have gone by, especially considering how often things seemed to have just dragged on. More recently I have been struggling to deal with the terrible twos and for whatever reason I've been feeling alone the way I did when Aiden was very small - like there is no one to tell you what to do or to point you in the right direction or to give you a break every now and then - of course I know this is simply parenting, it's only the hardest thing you'll ever do...I've had more "up all nights" that most (no one clued me in on sleep training), I've had pbj, marinara, choo choo trains all stuck in my hair, I've been hit in the face by little hands, little feet, books, Buzz Lightyear, and the occasional shoe has been thrown out the car window.

I have never loved someone so much, so wholeheartedly, so unconditionally, in all my life. There is nothing I wouldn't give to make this little boy's dreams come true, to teach him wrong from right, to give him the tools to be independent and successful and true to himself and flexible to what life brings. I know all parents must feel this way, but I know they must also know what it is to be sure no one else in the world can imagine it.

No comments: