I am constantly surprised at how well he perceives me and my emotions. There are so many areas where we differ so much that anyone might think we are completely incompatible. But there are a few important areas where we mesh perfectly...
A few years ago my beloved Slacker and Steve spent an hour discussing "dating requirements" -- when you enter a new relationship, what "interview questions" are important (ie- credit score? job? kids? etc.) So I formulated my own:
1. Who did you vote for in the last election? This is a trick question, I don't care about the who as much as I care that you voted. I am interested in ideas that are different than mine and more importantly I feel it is important that my generation makes its voice heard.
2. What is your favorite movie? This is extremely telling about a person. Guys who like chick flicks are very in tune with their emotions. Guys who like adventure/blockbusters are spontaneous and very macho. Guys who like thrillers are constantly thinking. Guys who like girls who like grotesque horror movies are the best ;)
3. What is your Zombie Apocalypse Plan? I'm not necessarily concerned with whether you believe Zombies are coming or not but whether you are into the Zombie culture.
4. Who has changed your life most significantly? I am mostly curious whether you will think outside the box or if you have a touching story about a loved one. If you tell me that an ex ruined your life, you're telling me you are ruined.
Over the years I have learned about Steve in these ways without even asking...He voted in the last election in a way that he felt helped his son the most - how selfless! His favorite movie is The Big Lebowski -- like The Dude, he is laid back and trouble seems to find him. Our Zombie Apocalypse plan is something we have created together and we both agree that if either of us turns, we will kill each other immediately - I know this sounds morbid but you would not believe the huge discussion we had to come to this decision together. I have never asked him who changed his life most significantly because I am not entirely sure he knows at this point. Steve is very focused on the present moment, he doesn't believe in looking back or stressing about what's to come.
So last night, when I totally broke down, he reminded me - all you can do is all you are capable of. Take a step back, take care of yourself and and slow down. It's hard to stop caring when you have been hurt but you only need to care as much about someone else as they did when they hurt you.
And then to cheer me up and help me de-stress, we played the post-it game! I love the post-it game....
|Whatcha got there buggie? Sticky notes: "Kane" and "For Sale -->"|
|Oh it's worse than we thought! He's been hittin the booze!|
|No wonder you're "4 Sale" all you do is lay drunk on the couch!|
|"Fuzzy Wuzzy -->"|
|Couch's Post-It "Sofa -->"|
|Once Kane was roused from his drunk nap he posed with his Post-It|