Growing up too fast

Monday was Aiden's first day of pre-school. As I mentioned before, pre-school has become quite a big deal since I was doing it. We had to pack a lunch and a back pack. This is serious business.

Luckily, Aiden lightened the mood Monday morning.

I woke up feeling so excited for him, I was smiling and cheerful as I got his things together.  But as the time drew closer to drop him off, my tummy started turning in circles and knotting up. Did he have enough food in his lunch box? What if  he needed more that one pair of extra clothes? What if his new tennis shoes hurt his feet all day? 

What if he cried when I left?

It took everything I had to hold it together.

When Steve and I gave him his back pack to try on, he wanted nothing to do with it. Until Mommy tried it on -- he thought that was pretty cool so he gave it a shot. Then I gave him his lunch box to carry. It almost pulled him over! Maybe I packed too much food?? But what if he was really hungry??

We went outside to take some pictures, and he loved the extra attention, but I don't think he knew what it all meant yet.

Both Steve and I were beaming with pride. I can't believe how big he's gotten and how well adjusted he is. Truly, he is a brave little boy.

After a million pictures with Mom and Dad, Papa tried explaining to him where he was going to go and all the different things he was going to learn.

Then we all piled into the car and headed to school. We decided to go a little early in case of any potential melt downs. Plus he would have time to scope out the class room before it was busy with other kids.

He carried his stuff all the way inside and wouldn't let anyone help.

When we got to his class room, we gave him his cubbie to look at. He really liked it, both as a cubbie and as a hat. He even took it down the hall a little ways.

When Mrs. Hastings got there, she let him go in and play with some toys. He took to the cars right away and started playing with other kids.

We took a few steps back and Steve went outside to see if he'd notice. I was already tearing up, did that mean I had to leave too?

But sure enough, he wasn't paying any mind to Mommy or Daddy or Papa. So we all went in the hall and watched through the one-way window a while as he met new kids and played cars.

I sobbed.

After about 10 minutes he stood up, looked around and said, "Mommy's gone..."

I don't think I have ever felt more pain square in my chest.

Luckily, the teachers were on their A-Game and distracted him with the pet fish.

He was just fine. Even if I was totally falling apart.

And he brought home some awesome artwork --

This is going to be good. It's strange how a glob of yellow paint can fill up every empty space in your heart.

Momma's waiting at the finish line
And wipes the teardrops from her eyes
She says, "You did just fine honey, that's okay
Sometimes life's just that way
"You're gonna lose the race from time to time
But you're always gonna find

You can't lose me
Bet your life
I am here and I will always be
Just a wish away
Wherever you go
No matter how far
My love is where you are
You won't be lost if you believe
You can't lose me

Momma used to say It won't be long
'Til it's time to go out on your own
Chase your dreams find your place in life
I know you'll do just fine
When that day finally came
There were things she needed to but could not say So I whispered softly as I wiped
The tears from Momma's eyes

You can't lose me
Bet your life
I am here and I will always be
Just a wish away
Wherever I go
No matter how far
My love is where you are
You won't be lost if you believe
You can't lose me